CC Minus 456: Feels like Prison

Really, Feels like Prison. Only I don't know what I did to deserve this punishment. Have no possibility of getting out on good behavior. Struggle to transform it into a 'growth' experience or launching platform for the next phase of my life.

Well, it's going to feel like the relief when a situation of extreme torture stops. Pure bliss. Hope I can go the distance to enjoy the contrast and don't self-destruct along the way !

Say a prayer.

CC Minus 460: Mark My Words !

No MATTER what I think on Sept 1, 2011....... HAND IN YOUR PAPERS !@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CC Minus 466: Baby Steps to What's Next

Was invited to speak at a conference yesterday. Oh what fun. I LOVE doing this. I LOVE a big audience. I LOVE sharing new things, stretching people's thinking, putting new ideas out there, engaging in a dialogue about how things can be different.

Lots of people came up afterwards inviting me to speak to their organization, get copies of my materials, ask more questions. hmmmm ..... me thinks there might be an opportunity here!

Makes me realize, I don't have the first clue about how to put myself out there in the 'market'. I'm completed locked up in a corporation prison. Not sure I know how to survive outside. How will I feed myself and find a purpose when I'm on the outside?

CC Minus 472: Live, Love, Learn, Leave a Legacy

Went to a colleague's memorial service yesterday. She was just 55. One day she was sending emails, sitting at her desk in her cubicle, the next day she was sick ,, missed a few days. Then I got an email that she had passed away. WHAT??? How could that go so quickly, so quietly almost without notice.

Seems that our organization is like a dark, still, pool of water. Whether you are in the water or not, when you withdraw nothing changes. Nobody notices. So why do we give our soul over to these corporate machines?

Don't know.

OMG - I have a Follower and a KM Rock Star to boot!

My pulse quickened and my level of optimism shot up, when I saved my latest personal musing and saw that David Gurteen had signed up as a Follower. I really appreciate your presence on the internet David. It's people like you who have stimulated my desire to experiment out here. I'm honored that you visited my Blog. I thought I was practicing here in a quiet corner of the net, so am invigorated by the connection.

It raises the bar, when you know that someone might actually see what you write !

CC Minus 473: Dreaming of Retirement

First time I actually had a dream about retirement. So we had the farewell lunch (no details about that) and then I left (no details about that either). That was it, however the next day I woke up and realized that in all the excitement I hadn't cleared out my desk. Nothing. Then there was a complicated series of steps to try to get back "in" to get my things. By the time I jumped all the necessary hurdles, some of my things had been boxed up, most was missing. I was not happy.
Lots of potential hidden and dark messages buried in here:
- if I leave will I lose all my capabilities to do anything?
- will I be able to get back "in" to doing any work, if I want to?
- will I be so disorganized when I leave that I won't pack up my stuff?
- am I so disorganized now, that I wouldn't prepare for this event?
Oh boy ... lots to process !

CC Minus 483: It feels like I'm staring at Armageddon

This is just another reminder to get out while you can! I'm staring at this huge nightmare, uncontrollable beast of a project. I know that it's going to result in LONG hours, LOTS of stress, SLEEPLESS nights, blood, sweat and tears, and YIKES!!!!! I don't want to do this again.

Soooo remember that when I have a chance to bail before the tsunami hits, hit the escape button! OK?! Don't forget!

CC Minus 491: Conference Networking

Going to possibly my last APQC KM conference this week. Question to ponder is "How can I maximize this for me and the company"?

Personal Objectives:

• Meet new and more people with similar interests
• Get contacts that I can followup on
• Explore new areas of work
• Learn about consulting in this field

Corporate Objectives:

• KM Change Management / Introduction ideas
• How to implement SP with minimal standards and support for the users
• How to get people to 'comment' on blogs and post in shared sites - people still uncomfortable doing this
• What's the 'bleeding' edge in collaboration and virtual teams?

Also ... have a good time ... just let the speakers and the buzz stimulate the thinking. Can't wait.

CC Minus 504: Some Blood Donations Revive You?!

Sometimes you stress the system and it responds with renewed energy. Like when you eat just a little less than you think you want to; or when you get just a little bit less sleep than you would like.

This sometimes happens at work when you get overloaded. It's can be just the right amount that has you firing on all cylinders, operating at peak performance. Problem is you just can't keep up the pace.

Well good for now! What to do when the engine needs a rest, but there is still so much distance to travel and such a heavy load to transport?

CC Minus 505: Love looking at Timelines beyond

Just love it, love it, love it, when I'm looking at timelines with lots of messy work to be done after my retirement eligibility date. It makes me feel free as a bird, light as a feather, like jumping up and clicking my heels. Like someone gave me a get-out-of-jail free card. Oh how sweet that thought is.
The question will be whether the anticipation is better than the actual event? Sometimes the week before a vacation and that afternoon that you clock off work is the BEST part of the whole feeling of joy. I wonder. But looking forward to finding out !

CC Minus 512: OMG - No more second guessing pls !

So we've been doing this 'thing' - call it a process - for many, many years in different parts of the world with some of the same people even, but now all of the sudden after we've educated a group that can turn as fast as an oil tanker, someone decides the 'name' for this 'thing' needs to change just slightly. Nothing has changed, other than some people's perceptions..... OMG ... are you serious!?@?#$

No, please count me out.

What happened to 80% rule? What happened to work it once, reuse it many times? What happened to plain old fashioned common sense. I'm gonna jump out the window before I go insane too.

There's gotta be a classic Dilbert on this one!

CC Minus 513: Hey, I could DO That !

Attended an all-day virtual training on SP today. The trainer was 'ok'. Not brilliant, not terrible. I thought to myself ... "hey, I could do that every bit as well, if not better"!

Then I started fantasizing about all the courses I could teach for one of our vendors and got pretty excited about that. Need to dribble some water on this seedling.

CC Minus 519: She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not ..

Today was a great day! Worked on some stuff I LIKE. Actually COMPLETED something. Created real VALUE for the people involved in both the receiving and the delivery. Doesn't get much better than that, right.
If I get a whole run of these ... then who knows what might happen. There are bets being placed on my real retirement date vs. my advertised retirement date. Most are betting on me missing the advertised date.

I kinda get nervous about that too, if I'm having fun.

Here's the dilemma: How do I make the next 17 months fun AND not feel like it's so much fun I don't want to leave? Need a risk mitigation plan here.

Some answers that come to mind are: create PULL outside; limit hours dedicated 'there' so I have time to discover what's going on elsewhere; start re-building outside commitments.

CC Minus 522: Packing 36 into 24

... hours that is.

In case I lose focus, or lose my nerve as CC-0 approaches, remember this:

• packing 36 hrs worth of living into 24 will shorten your life - guaranteed
  
• even if I love the work, can't I come up with something more fun?
• how about doing something that I control on my own terms?
  
• oh yeah, and what would it be like to truly pick what you work on vs. being forced at gunpoint

25 years ago when I arrived in this new cell, I had the idea that I was on my journey, on my terms, making my choices. Somewhere on this journey I lost my way and turned over the reigns ... they are choking me. Gotta cut the rope so I can breath again.

Read this, when in doubt!

CC Minus 525: Rollercoaster Workshops

Started the day off with renewed optimism for the activities we were working on, the challenge of a new program, an eager group and a fresh slate. No time pressure to deliver the product. Smart brains on the task. Was this the same weary, cynical person that went to bed last night?

The ugly cynic and familiar weariness started to appear by early afternoon. By mid-afternoon we were all losing focus, energy, optimism and allowing fatigue, confusion and 'can-to do it' thinking to seep in through the cracks.

What could I have done to better support the group?

• stay OUT of my email
• stay OFF of IM
• listen more actively
• reflect and clarify where we are

Bottom-line ==> Be MORE PRESENT !!! I knew that. You need to invest to get more out of it.

Tomorrow is another chance to start again. Stay tuned .....

CC Minus 526: Keep the Buzzes Going

I'm pretty chuffed that I just stuck with my O'Douls tonight. Another lovely day that would typically demand massive anesthetics. But I'm really looking forward to that massive caffeine buzz in the morning.

CC Minus 527: Ratio of "Gotta Have a Drink Days"

Seems that the ratio of Gotta-Have-A-Drink vs. Hey-What-A-Great-Day is w-a-a-a-ay out of whack these days. Having broken my Lenten fast on numerous occasions this year -- that's the alcohol abstention one -- I've decided to turn a new leaf for the last 2 weeks. And whaaddya know, as soon as I resolve to do better, I have a lousy day.

The details will seem irrelevant at some point in my future, BUT the way I CHOSE to handle it might be significant. So am practicing some good advice that I might give others:

• don't let "The Man" control your mood and reactions
• don't react immediately (well, I did spurt forth a couple of F*** expletives at one points)
• DO try to find something good in all of this ..... hmmmm not there yet!
  
• DO take at least one action that is a positive reaction ...... hmmmm not there yet either!

Obviously this is a work in progress. I managed the "don'ts", just need to finish up on the "dos"

CC Minus 528: The Rules of Life after 55 - #1

This thing by Bill Gates is circulating: The 11 Rules of Life. Very focused on teens. So what would a retired person tell me about the Rules of Life after 55?

Maybe it's some of the same Rules, just time-adjusted for the next chapter in life.

Rule #1 seems to always come in handy "Life is not fair; get used to it".

I'm sure the people who retired in 2007 and took a lump sum in stocks can relate to revisiting this one. Or the colleague that got cancer shortly after retiring. It's not about "fair", rather about making "lemonade from lemons", "playing the hand you're dealt" and "dancing with the one your with". All very trite, AND at the same time can really work to your advantage.

CC minus 529: Unlearning

Read something today by Steve Davis about "Unlearning". The gist of it is that we spend so much energy trying to filter and absorb new information, rather than truly digesting and working with the old. Maybe there are some things that we need to unlearn.

Am sure that I will have to *unlearn* lots of things post corporate life. Wondering what all those things are that are good that I might have to let go of. Wondering what all those bad things are that I can free myself from, if I can do it?

hmmmm

Testing from bar - can't figure out how to add the text !

CC Minus 530: Creating a pull to the next world

Two thoughts on my mind today:
1) I must have a "Pull" out of the corporate nest or I won't want to leave
2) I'm thrilled at some of the comments in my corp Blog
How can I connect these two things?

I love the intellectual challenge, but hate the sheer volume of work. The mountains of emails, meetings, and mindless activities associated with a large system just take away from the core creative work and leave you feeling used up and washed out on the side of the road.

Can I break the cycle, or do I just have to leave?